top gunslinger MARTY COOK bumps into BANG favourite JOHN HEGLEY. Marty looks very pleased with himself… and so he should be, John Hegley is a legend!

John Hegley, Luke Wright, Kat Francois, Tim Clare, Byron Vincent, Salena Godden, AF Harrold, Elvis McGonagall, Karen Hayley, Pete The Temp, Iszi Lawrence, Richard Tyrone Jones, Deanna Rodger, Paul Cree, Talia Randall, Captain Of The Rant, Stuart Hudson, Joe Bromehead, AntiPoet, Rob Auton, Martin Galton, Peter Heyhoe, Curious, Frank Sanazi, Mel Jones, a few more to confirm and top open SLAM competition. Oh, and me!

So Gunslingers, let’s look at what is going down so far on the BANG stage at MEADOWLANDS.
We have a mind blowingly good line up with plenty more top acts still to be announced… so watch this space!
Top of our all-star bill is the Godfather of Comic Poetry and the People’s Laureate, JOHN HEGLEY. John Hegley is to potatoes what Wordsworth has been to daffodils… except John is relevant to the world and Wordsworth just wanders aimlessly.

John Hegley – Relevant Potato lover!

Also from the world of Stand-Up Poetry we have the darkly comic satires and romping ballads of LUKE WRIGHT “the best young performance poet around” (The Observer)
We have one of the brightest new stars on the block BYRON VINCENT “The most precocious talent on show” (The Times), whose oratory fuses comedy, poetry and doe eyed bewilderment to create a unique and entertaining spoken word experience. (Which includes a rather fine haiku about Elton John’s preferred choice of salad.)

Elton’s favourite salad.

There is also the brilliant ukulele wielding, channel 4 presenting, award winning author TIM CLARE, the glorious KAREN HAYLEY who is the funniest female comic out there (this is my opinion and according to my wife, I’m usually right).
If it’s rocking Slam Poetry you want, then we have the 2005 World Slam Champion KAT FRANCOIS popping by to show us her word acrobatics. And just to put a tad more icing on the cake, you can also enjoy the extremely funny and bizarre world of ROB AUTON, the grizzly reality of MARTIN GALTON, the dizzying climate change rants of PETE THE TEMP and an alternative look at the fine art of poetry with the delicious ANTI POET.

And if all that doesn’t tickle your fancy and it’s pure comedy you are looking for, then look no further than STUART HUDSON, whose dark, warped humour will drench you in laughter and most probably bring you out in a cold sweat!

“But what about the kids!” I hear you cry. “And what about the kid inside me!” I hear you scream. Don’t worry, we have all that sorted. The fantastically funny and slapstick comic clown MR PINEAPPLE HEAD (even his name is funny) will be along to entertain the young guns.

This is Mr Pineapple Head – Does he have a Pineapple for a head?

There is also the possibility of a few life-drawing classes, where you can learn to draw life instead of just drawing a blank! Or draw on the fact that you are now uncomfortably middle class when you preferred being working class. Pencils at the ready.

Oh, and don’t forget you can sign up to become the 2011 MEADOWLANDS FESTIVAL SLAM CHAMPION! A excellent way to get your name in poetic lights!

Phew… and this is just to get your taste buds going!
Cheers good people, There is plenty more where that came from… so keep your poetic ears and eyes open!

We had that lovely John Osbourne down a few weeks ago and managed to secure a copy of his book containing 14 recent poems.

It’s probably the best book I’ve read in ages, even the cover design is beautiful.

Get yourself a copy. It’s published by Nasty Little Press at £5.

This is what John Hegley said about it….there is warmth in these poems , as you would expect with a balaclava in the title.

This is happening tomorrow night – MONDAY 29th NOVEMBER.
Help save the tiger by donating £15 here http://www.justgiving.com/roarcollective and in return you get a fabulous night of Poetry, Song + Cartoons… everyone wins!!!

Please ROAR…Help save the tiger… http://www.eia-international.org

WE SHOOK

WE APPLAUDED

WE SMOKED OURSELVES OUT

WE CHOSE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE – (LOVE WON NATURALLY)

JOHN PLAYED US OUT

SILVER AND GOLD GNOMES WERE DISHED OUT

AND EVERYONE LEFT VERY VERY VERY HAPPY!!!

THANKS GUNSLINGERS, WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!!
(all photos by WASI DANIJU)

A GIANT asteroid could be about to hit BANG SAID THE GUN, space boffins revealed today.
An international team including NASA experts warned a 560 metre wide poetry loving space rock has been discovered heading towards the Roebuck (the home of BANG SAID THE GUN).
If it did hit BANG this Thursday it would blast a crater several miles wide and could devastate a city the size of Milton Keynes (why can’t it just land on Milton Keynes?), wreaking death and destruction for hundreds of miles in every direction. Oh no!
Anyone concerned by the warning has one thing to be thankful for — if it does hit, then it is most likely to happen this Thursday when John Hegley will be performing. Phew! At least we get to see the great man perform before we kick the bucket!

The asteroid’s orbit has been fairly well known thanks to 290 visual observations and 13 measurements using radar, say scientists.
The chances of the asteroid hitting BANG SAID THE GUN are one-in-a-thousand but in cosmic terms these odds are high enough for the threat to be taken extremely seriously.
UK crater expert and poet Daniel Cockrill, said: “Calculations suggest this asteroid would produce a crater less than 10km wide and 500m deep – but landing on the BANG venue is obviously bad news.

“If it hit the ocean it could create a tsunami with the power to wipe out coastal towns.
“It would be nothing on the scale of the impact that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, but you wouldn’t want it to wipe out one the most exciting poetry events around.”
Would you?
Shiiiitttt!!! – gunslingers… run for your lives!

Golden Gun World Champ Ian Bee – win your own Golden Gun this Thursday and share the stage with the very brilliant JOHN HEGLEY… it is the last chance to rattle and shake this summer!!!

Turning the mundane into the magnificent…
The ordinary into the extraordinary…
JOHN HEGLEY is at BANG SAID THE GUN!

…the ‘BIG BANG POWETRY PLAN!’

David Cameron: “I think we’re onto a really big idea, a really exciting future for our country.”
David Cameron has launched his “big BANG SAID THE GUN poetry” drive to empower communities, describing it as his “great passion”.
In a speech at the Roebuck, the home of BANG SAID THE GUN, the prime minister said poets should be able to run post offices, libraries, transport services and shape housing projects.
Also announcing plans to use dormant bank accounts to fund projects, Mr Cameron said the concept would be a “big advance for poetry power”.
While reducing the budget deficit was his “duty”, he said giving poets more control over their destinies was what excited him and was something that had underpinned his philosophy since he became a Toff as a little boy.
“There are the things you do because it’s your passion,” he said.
“Things that fire you up in the morning, that drive you, that you truly believe will make a real difference to the country you love, and my great passion is building the big BANG SAID THE GUN society… Poetry power dudes!’
The prime minister said poetry communities would be established all over the UK – to help poets “turn government completely on its head”.
Mr Cameron confirmed plans to use funds stuck in dormant bank and building society accounts to enable “some of the most dynamic spoken word artists to take over the running of public services.” Daniel Cockrill decided he might drive the number 38 night bus, Martin Galton wants to work in a library and change the filing system to one that he understands and Rob Auton fancies playing fetch in the park with the local stray dogs.
Everyone is aware of the “great work” BANG SAID THE GUN are already doing at the Roebuck he said, and it was his ambition to simply expand on this.
The BANG SAID THE GUN team argue that “The ‘big BANG SAID THE GUN poetry society’ isn’t David Cameron’s Big Idea anyway. His aides say it is about empowering communities, redistributing power and fostering a culture of volunteerism, but we at BANG have been doing this for years, never paying any of the acts but always putting on a brilliant show. But now that our toff nosed friend David has raided Bank accounts and thrown us loads of dosh, the audience can now experience top names like LUKE WRIGHT, JOHN HEGLEY and IAN McMILLAN. This Big Bang society is going to be wicked!!!” Come Join in the fun this Thursday… Luke Wright + Jammie Sammy feature with DAVID CAMERON taking part in the GOLDEN GUN open mic. Nice one Dave!

Cameron – what a toff!!!!