May I take this opportunity to wish you all, unadulterated, unfettered, over flowing, big, rollicking, knee jerking, nipple raising, pants dropping, nut crunching,wham bam, kiss kiss bang bang joy, this Christmas.

Dan and I are having a top level lunch tomorrow with legendary stand up comedian..er .. best keep his name under wraps at the moment. Anyway, were keen to move stand up comedy on, or at least sideways, by putting together a whole new type of evening. It will still retain the Bang Said The Gun spirit, but we want to come up with something fresh. High on the agenda is an evening of variety but do you have any suggestions? Dan is currently learning to play the musical saw.

Meeting Joanna Lumley tomorrow to do a voice recording. I’m taking along a jar of Gherkins, because I’ve heard she likes them.

Whoarrr! Said The Gun – Joanna loves her Gherkins!

The manufacturer of one of the UK’s top poetry events this Christmas has insisted that Bang Said The Gun is safe.
Cepia rejects claims from US consumer organisation GoodGuide that a chemical (laughter + love) found at Bang Said The Gun was at possibly dangerous levels.
The firm also said that Bang Said The Gun had passed “the most rigorous testing in the poetry industry”.
GoodGuide had alleged that the poetry event had more than the allowed level of fun and laughter.
Professor Dara O’Rourke, from GoodGuide, said “laughter has potential health hazards related to it which, if ingested in high enough levels can lead to cancer, reproductive health and other human health hazards”.

” I have been in the poetry industry for more than 35 years, and being a father of children myself, I would never allow any substandard or unsafe poetry near my kids.” said Russ Hornsby of Cepia.
One of the stars of Bang Said The Gun, Martin Galton, – who whizzes about the floor and squeaks when his nose is poked – has been one of the most in-demand poets in the UK this Christmas, with several major retailers reporting shortages.

Martin said he wanted to assure anyone thinking of going to Bang Said The Gun that the event is “100% safe and in compliance with all US and European poetry standards.

Daniel Cockrill, managing director for Bang, said: “We are confident that Bang Said The Gun and all the poets that take part on the night are completely safe. If you don’t believe us then come along to our Christmas bash on Thursday 17th December.”

Starring the very lovely Paul Lyalls, performing from his new book ‘Catching The Cascade’. Here is the front cover.

John Hegley says Paul smiles too much but we at Bang think he doesn’t smile enough!

Also, the female version of Ivor Cutler, the marvellous Liz Bentley, will be along to make your poetic taste buds tingle and burst with delight

– so why not come join in the fun.

Plus – The World Famous ‘Tequila Shot Open Mic Spot.’
Starring ‘Stand In’ World Champion Dan ‘The Braces’ Hunt
And a super special treat – Martin Galton will be appearing LIVE from Africa!!!

When:
Thursday 26th November at 8.30pm

Where:
The Roebuck, Great Dover Street SE1
(nearest tube Borough / London Bridge)

How Much – £3 (we must be ripping our selves off!)

What a bargain. Affordable poetry for the masses.

If you haven’t been before, then here are some images of what you have missed taken by the very delightful Jacob Sam La Rose.

How lovely. See more of Jacob’s pics here – http://eye.jsamlarose.com

What is Martin doing? Martin is on the prowl! Over the next few months he will be trailing around all the dodgy pubs, clubs and venues of London looking for top, top talent to appear at Bang Said The Gun (the best spoken word event this side of Ipswich). So look out performance poets – he could be looking for you!

“But Dan” you say, “how will we know he is about? What does he look like?”
Well, he is a smaller version of Darwin (the bloke on the ten pound note) and his beard is shorter – that’s evolution for you!

Dan is writing this blog.
Rob is selling paint in an art shop in Soho.
Sjannekke is teaching the kids how to read and write.
Martin is looking after his darling wife – she has swine flu! God damn those pigs!