A GIANT asteroid could be about to hit BANG SAID THE GUN, space boffins revealed today.
An international team including NASA experts warned a 560 metre wide poetry loving space rock has been discovered heading towards the Roebuck (the home of BANG SAID THE GUN).
If it did hit BANG this Thursday it would blast a crater several miles wide and could devastate a city the size of Milton Keynes (why can’t it just land on Milton Keynes?), wreaking death and destruction for hundreds of miles in every direction. Oh no!
Anyone concerned by the warning has one thing to be thankful for — if it does hit, then it is most likely to happen this Thursday when John Hegley will be performing. Phew! At least we get to see the great man perform before we kick the bucket!

The asteroid’s orbit has been fairly well known thanks to 290 visual observations and 13 measurements using radar, say scientists.
The chances of the asteroid hitting BANG SAID THE GUN are one-in-a-thousand but in cosmic terms these odds are high enough for the threat to be taken extremely seriously.
UK crater expert and poet Daniel Cockrill, said: “Calculations suggest this asteroid would produce a crater less than 10km wide and 500m deep – but landing on the BANG venue is obviously bad news.

“If it hit the ocean it could create a tsunami with the power to wipe out coastal towns.
“It would be nothing on the scale of the impact that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, but you wouldn’t want it to wipe out one the most exciting poetry events around.”
Would you?
Shiiiitttt!!! – gunslingers… run for your lives!

Golden Gun World Champ Ian Bee – win your own Golden Gun this Thursday and share the stage with the very brilliant JOHN HEGLEY… it is the last chance to rattle and shake this summer!!!

Turning the mundane into the magnificent…
The ordinary into the extraordinary…
JOHN HEGLEY is at BANG SAID THE GUN!

BRIAN MAY = HAIR
MARTIN GALTON = NO HAIR
MARTIN WINS ON POINTS…

It’s not often BSTG escapes the smoke, but in August we are on the island of Bryher in the Scilly  Isles for some fresh air, poetry and music. Murray Lachlan Young is our headline act. A man described by Brian May of Queen as ” Brilliant”. Brian  May, a man of few words but lot’s of hair. Tosser, who needs it. Hair that is. The line up also includes The Hell Cats, fronted by Julian Piper. Julian has played with all the Blues greats,Buddy Guy, BB King, Barry Blue and the excellent boy blues band- Blue. So if you happen to be on the island of Bryher on August 4th, do come and join us. Believe me, there’s nothing else to do apart from camping.

Brain May meets Murray Lachlan Young.

…the ‘BIG BANG POWETRY PLAN!’

David Cameron: “I think we’re onto a really big idea, a really exciting future for our country.”
David Cameron has launched his “big BANG SAID THE GUN poetry” drive to empower communities, describing it as his “great passion”.
In a speech at the Roebuck, the home of BANG SAID THE GUN, the prime minister said poets should be able to run post offices, libraries, transport services and shape housing projects.
Also announcing plans to use dormant bank accounts to fund projects, Mr Cameron said the concept would be a “big advance for poetry power”.
While reducing the budget deficit was his “duty”, he said giving poets more control over their destinies was what excited him and was something that had underpinned his philosophy since he became a Toff as a little boy.
“There are the things you do because it’s your passion,” he said.
“Things that fire you up in the morning, that drive you, that you truly believe will make a real difference to the country you love, and my great passion is building the big BANG SAID THE GUN society… Poetry power dudes!’
The prime minister said poetry communities would be established all over the UK – to help poets “turn government completely on its head”.
Mr Cameron confirmed plans to use funds stuck in dormant bank and building society accounts to enable “some of the most dynamic spoken word artists to take over the running of public services.” Daniel Cockrill decided he might drive the number 38 night bus, Martin Galton wants to work in a library and change the filing system to one that he understands and Rob Auton fancies playing fetch in the park with the local stray dogs.
Everyone is aware of the “great work” BANG SAID THE GUN are already doing at the Roebuck he said, and it was his ambition to simply expand on this.
The BANG SAID THE GUN team argue that “The ‘big BANG SAID THE GUN poetry society’ isn’t David Cameron’s Big Idea anyway. His aides say it is about empowering communities, redistributing power and fostering a culture of volunteerism, but we at BANG have been doing this for years, never paying any of the acts but always putting on a brilliant show. But now that our toff nosed friend David has raided Bank accounts and thrown us loads of dosh, the audience can now experience top names like LUKE WRIGHT, JOHN HEGLEY and IAN McMILLAN. This Big Bang society is going to be wicked!!!” Come Join in the fun this Thursday… Luke Wright + Jammie Sammy feature with DAVID CAMERON taking part in the GOLDEN GUN open mic. Nice one Dave!

Cameron – what a toff!!!!

Had to delete this… I got into trouble… whoops, sorry, I didn’t mean it!

Leonhardt Ever Ready… Top Top Gunslinger!!!

Congratulations Leonhardt…

Win your own GOLDEN GUN this Thursday and share the stage with the mighty LUKE WRIGHT… full details HERE.

The brilliant Popshot Magazine gave us another plug on their wonderful website, so we thought we would return the favour. Go have a look, and when you have done looking, why not subscribe to the best poetry / illustration magazine that money can buy. It looks good on your coffee table, in the bathroom, or even on your bookshelf (if you own a bookshelf that is!)…

I think we all agree…